Thankfully it doesn't happen often.

Sleepless night last night. My stomach was still a bit riled by the flu, even though I stuck with plain rice for the second day in a row. As I lay tossing and turning Scrooge's encounter with Marley leapt to mind at one point:

"Why do you doubt your senses?"

"Because," said Scrooge, "a little thing affects them. A slight disorder of the stomach makes them cheats. You may be an undigested bit of beef, a blot of mustard, a crumb of cheese, a fragment of an underdone potato. There's more of gravy than of grave about you, whatever you are!"

Instead of Ghosts showing up at appointed hours, I just rolled back and forth watching the clock ~

9:43

10:18

11:02

12:25

At some point I fell asleep and had one of those I have to get there dreams. Dreams tend to fall into two categories for me - impending death and fear of being late or missing an appointment. Last night I had to be someplace and the cat, Pewter, was doing something to make me late. I was in a frantic need to get him back... someplace. Then I'm in a motel room with a parking lot outside the door and I'm talking to someone I have to get him back before I can leave!, completely panic stricken. After crawling under cars and fretting because I was ruining my suit I finally got him and put him into the cat carrier.

Then I woke up. 3:11 am. Drenched in sweat and I felt like my heart was going to explode right out of my chest.

I'm don't know what triggered this dream. It's always when I'm under a great deal of stress that the panic or death dreams show up. My body's been under stress with the damn flu, but I'm not, so I'm at a loss to explain last night.

I didn't bother going trying to get back to sleep. I got up and stripped the bed and started doing laundry (ain't you glad you ain't my neighbor?) and then took a shower. It was now nearly 4 am and I'm casting about for something to do. I thought about going into the office and might have if it wasn't 10 degrees outside. Didn't feel like playing Xbox or computer games so I flipped on the television. 4 am. Infomercial Heaven.

I want whatever drugs these people are on. Have you ever watched these infomercials? These people have got to be high or insane because no sane, sober, person can be this happy. They're freaky and hypnotic, but by 6 am I had had enough and made my self some toast, boiled yet more rice (in chicken broth!) to take to work and left by 7 am.

My head will crash on the desk sometime around 1 pm today.

What dreams may come

I don't remember my dreams. Bits and pieces float to the top sometimes, but I don't really remember anything.

Nancy at Starlight News just freaked me out this morning.

"We are standing at the Rubicon with this torture issue."

Saturday morning I woke remembering a piece of a dream. I was standing on the river bank alone. The land around the river was beige and dried out. For a long time I just stood there in silence. Eventually I became aware I was not alone and turned around to face Ceasar. Behind him was the entire Roman army.

Cross or not. It's your choice.

When I woke I thought "That was weird" and just dismissed it - until I read Nancy's essay this morning "Standing at the Rubicon".

She said to feel free to pass it on ~ so I am.

I am posting this essay from an email list I am on. I encourage everyone to read it and pass it on, especially to all Democratic Congressmen and Senators. We are standing at the Rubicon with this torture issue.

The Daily Brew
September 25, 2006
Chance of a Lifetime

I realize that the entire leftwing blogosphere is apoplectic because Democrats failed to even participate in the deal cut last Thursday allowing Bush to torture people. I don’t see why. I am probably too optimistic, but I think Rove has finally outsmarted himself.

For years Democrats (including myself) have bitched and moaned that GOP talking points fit neatly onto bumper stickers, while it takes a thirty page white paper with 200 footnotes to explain the Democratic alternative. For once, the shoe is on the other foot. The GOP has given us the opportunity to make the Republicans the Torture Party. We ought to run with it.

Every time Bush has squarely addressed the issue, he has denied that “we” torture people. That tells me two things. First, it tells me that Bush is lying. I saw the pictures from Abu Gharib. Bush is definitely in the torture business. Second, and almost as important, it tells me that the word “torture” doesn’t poll well for Rove. So if you keep calling Bush a torturer, he will have to keep denying it. So lets do it.

For Anne Coulter and Michelle Malkin, the fact that Bush is morphing into Josef Mengele is a plus, but we are not getting the pro-torture votes anyway. For all the normal folks whose sense of morality forces Bush to deny he tortures people, this debate is a gift from God.

Is there a better sound bite than “I oppose torture”? Is there an easier thing to say than “I am not going to vote for this bill. Torture is immoral. Torturing people who haven’t even been charged with a crime endangers both our troops and the American public. If we make it US policy to torture people who have done nothing wrong, based on the mere suspicion that they might know something useful, is there any doubt that foreign governments will likewise subject our troops and US citizens traveling abroad to the same treatment”?

Sure, we all know that once we start, the right wing noise machine will spring into action. But for once, we’ve got them where we want them. Out talking points are simple. Theirs are not. Just by having the debate, we win it.

The actual bill is a complicated mess. Unless you are an endowed chair at the Yale law school, good luck figuring out what it means. So when we say “Torture is wrong,” they have to say “The bill does not authorize torture. Under paragraph 3(g)(4) subsection iii, the proposed legislation clearly provides that….” Yada, yada, yada. Get the idea?

Little Suzy Swingvoter and her husband Joe the Undecided Working Guy aren’t going to listen to the whole debate, and they damn sure aren’t going to read the bill. Their impressions are going to be formed on the basis of sound bites, and in this debate, we have the better sound bites. We can make the GOP the Torture Party. All we have to do is make sure we don’t give them any bi-partisan cover, and repeatedly
force them to deny that they are torturing people. We will come out miles ahead.

If the Rove tries to debate this bill by saying that Democrats are soft on terrorism, then the GOP implicitly concedes that the bill authorizes torture, and we win; the GOP is the Torture Party. The tougher they act, the more they cement the idea that they are torturing people. On the other hand, if they try to make convoluted arguments about how much you have to harm people before it is actually considered torture, then they are dancing on the head of a pin with the devil, and the GOP is the Party of Torture with Law Degrees. The more they deny the bill authorizes torture, the more they undercut their own message that Democrats are soft on terrorism. We win both ways.

All Democrats have to do is keep making simple statements over and over. “Torture is wrong.” “Torture is Un-American.” What is the GOP going to do? Say torture is a family value? All Democrats need to do is trust that the American people will reject torture.

Maybe Digby is right. Maybe the Democrats have been “punked.” Maybe a mere six weeks from the fall election, Democrats will again take the seemingly safe route, meekly sit back, say nothing, and allow the compromise to become law. McCain will get to play the Republican rebel maverick, who did the moral thing and looked out for the troops. Bush will get to play the Republican statesman and leader, who showed that he is committed to protecting Americans but that he is willing to listen and compromise, and Democrats will look like ciphers who don’t have the stones to even say a word when the most important moral issue confronting the government is being debated.

On the other hand, maybe pigs will fly, and the Democrats will finally get smart. Maybe Harry Ried and Nancy Pelosi will realize that when it comes to torture, good policy, good morals, and good politics all converge. Maybe Democrats will stand up for the idea that torture is wrong, and hang this atrocity around the necks of the entire Republican party like a burning tire.

Of course, if they don’t, then I don’t really care what happens. For me, we reach the Rubicon this week. Any political party that won’t stand up and be counted against torture is not a party that I want to be associated with, regardless of how evil the alternative. I think opposing torture is a political winner. But even if I am wrong, and standing up against torture will cost the Democrats the majority, then
SO BE IT, they should do it anyway.

Anyone in Congress who isn’t willing to risk their seat to oppose torture I don’t want in power regardless of what party they are in. If a Democrat doesn’t have the courage to do the right thing on an issue this basic and fundamental, then they are a coward who is unworthy of their seat. We should make any Democrat who gives the GOP bipartisan cover for this abomination the “Joe Lieberman” of every future election they enter. If they aren’t smart enough to see that doing the right thing here is a long term political winner for the party, even if they are worried it might cost them their job in the short run, then they are more committed to their own power than our principles, and to hell with them.
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