Fractured History Tales

On this day in 1002... King Ethelred II, also known as Ethelred the Unready, ordered the murder of all Danish people living in England. He had been fighting with the Danes since 991, the beginning of his reign, and I guess he had just had enough. Seems a bit extreme to me. He ended up having to run away, to Normandy, in 1013, when Sweyn Haraldsson (yes, he was a Dane) whooped his ass in response to the massacre (and just because he could) and conquered England. But not for long. Ethelred returned to England in 1014 when Haraldsson died, only to die two years later in London.

Ethelred is also famous for taking a dump in the baptismal font when he was a baby. Most believe this is not a true story. But it's funny so I'm going to go right on believing it.

Ethelred married, thirdly, Emma of Normandy, whose big brother Robert helped him when Sweyn kicked his ass outta England. When the Bastard (no, not Ethelred, William) wanted to be King of England, he claimed his right by way of Ethelred being his great-Uncle.

Don't think I would have gone about bragging a familial connection to this guy. But then I've never wanted to be King of England. For what it's worth, I think William's military ability meant more in the long run, anyway.

Ethelred's reign is responsible for the foundations of the grand jury system we know today.

This is also the anniversary of the birth of an ex-boyfriend and current friend who is turning 50 today.