I was thinking of posting a sign
here, stating that United States was up for bidding
but then spotted this piece in the LA Times:
Hey U.S., welcome to the Third World!
We thus want to acknowledge the progress you have made in your evolution from economic superpower to economic basket case. Normally, such a process might take 100 years or more. With your oscillation between free-market extremism and nationalization of private companies, however, you have successfully achieved, in a few short years, many of the key hallmarks of Third World economies.
Your policies of irresponsible government deregulation in critical sectors allowed you to rapidly develop an energy crisis, a housing crisis, a credit crisis and a financial market crisis, all at once, and accompanied (and partly caused) by impressive levels of corruption and speculation. Meanwhile, those of your political leaders charged with oversight were either napping or in bed with corporate lobbyists.
I wonder if there is some kind of an award... like the Nobel... for countries who tank fastest. Darwin award wouldn't do... no one has died from this stupidity. Yet. There is the Ig Noble but I think we deserve something better than that.
In any event, I think the US has won, by a land-slide. Seven years, plus a pointless war, is all it took. Seven short years. Of course the underpinnings of this disaster have been there for decades:
Take John McCain, your Republican presidential nominee, whose senior staff includes half a dozen prominent former lobbyists. As he recently put it, "I was chairman of the [Senate] Commerce Committee that oversights every part of the economy." No question about it: Your leaders' failure to notice the damage done by irresponsible deregulation was indeed an oversight of epic proportions.
Please, by all means possible, vote for Mr. Magoo in November. Let's just complete the hat-trick of the past two elections and keep putting greed-mongering, hate-filled useless politicans in office, mkay?? Thankx!
Not that the junior Senator from Illinois is a much better choice come November. At the very least he didn't help lead this country into damnation. No... he's just spent everyday since the last election tryin' to get elected this November. "First do no harm". Well, he did that, at least.
Admittedly, your transition to Third World status is far from over, and it won't be painless. At first, for instance, you may find it hard to get used to the shantytowns that will replace the exurban sprawl of McMansions that helped fuel the real estate speculation bubble. But in time, such shantytowns will simply become part of the landscape. Similarly, as unemployment rates continue to rise, you will initially struggle to find a use for the expanding pool of angry, jobless young men. But you will gradually realize that you can recruit them to fight in a ceaseless round of armed conflicts, a solution that has been utilized by many other Third World states before you. Indeed, with your wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, you are off to an excellent start.
Believe it or not, I actually have more hope than Ms. Brooks. I remember the 1970's recession. I remember when Japan practically bought the United States at fire-sale prices in that decade and how hated they were for doing it. I remember being in New York City in it's darkest hours and no, not 9/11, but the early 1970's recession hit NYC really hard. I remember the S&L meltdown of the 1980's; it was bad for most everyone, but we survived it. The problem is we learned nothing from these experiences.
We have short-term memories in the United States. It looks like it's The End Of Times, but it really isn't. It's bad... really, really bad, but we've been here before and we'll be here again. That's what happens when a people have short-term memory problems - they make the same mistakes over and over again.
Like Yogi said, it's deja vu all over again. Maybe this time the Arabs will buy us out.
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One of my favorite websites: Improbable Research. Enjoy.
